


In Which Kagami Taiga tries to appease the wrath of his Captain

by duckiesandlemons



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack Fic, Future Fic, Gen, Humor, Kagami suffers a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-18
Updated: 2013-08-18
Packaged: 2017-12-23 22:12:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/931647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duckiesandlemons/pseuds/duckiesandlemons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And fails spectacularly in the process.  Kuroko is no help either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which Kagami Taiga tries to appease the wrath of his Captain

**Author's Note:**

> There is nothing serious about this. Nothing. Some days I attempt to write Kuroko Tetsuya--others I just end up writing Makuroko 24/7. This is one of them. Follows after Number Four, where Hyuuga has passed captaincy on to Furihata.

“We’ll start a band, that’s what we’ll do.”

“That sounds like an excellent idea.”

“And then we’ll, like, debut somewhere like some small café and hope that there’s some record label guy there.”

“Mmhmm.”

“After that we’ll be asked to sign on and then we’ll record our first CD.  Once we get sales _then_ we’ll use all money earned and push it to club funds.”

“Wonderful plan as always, Kagami-kun.”

“Stop being sarcastic, you little asshole.”

“Well, there are much better ways to restore the club funds spent on your obnoxious appetite than what you just said,” Kuroko calmly closed his book, giving Kagami this small little smile that was anything but genuine.  Chin propped on his hand, Kagami gave Kuroko a flat look.

“If this involves me having to walk those demons called dogs again you can forget it,” he snarled.  “Nigou is plenty.  Nigou’s friends is called pushing it.”

Kuroko’s eyes sparkled, “I think that Pomeranian certainly loved you.”

“I certainly hated it.”

“So if dog sitting is out of the question—which I add was an entire club thing, really, all you did was hide until Fukuda-kun dragged you out—then how are we going to restore the money lost thanks to the black hole known as your stomach?”

Kagami hung his head at being reminded, all ire about the dog sitting incident conveniently forgotten as he stewed over how to repair the giant hole he had punched into Seirin’s budget thanks to his appetite.  To get to that, they had to rewind back to a practice match at another school Coach Aida had booked for them (how she still managed to stay on top of her studies and still coach them will forever remain a mystery to him).  They had won and decided on stopping somewhere nice, paying from the club’s budget because they had a slight bit of excess in terms of money and Furihata was a bit of a pushover.  Kagami, being himself, ordered nearly half the menu.

He quickly learned that Furihata, despite being one of the gentler captains of the big name schools, was indeed not a bit of a pushover.

Furihata was the wolf in sheep’s skin.

“Have you decided on what to do?” Kuroko asked and Kagami just groaned, letting his head thunk against his desk.

“No.”

“Then let’s ask Captain.”

Kagami shot up, panic in his eyes, “No, I’ll think of something soon!  And just why are you so eager about this?”

Kuroko looked thoughtful for all of one second, “Because it’s my duty as vice-captain.”

“Bullshit.”

Kuroko just enjoyed seeing him suffer. 

(*)

Kagami, on his never ending quest of self-improvement and other such things that people harped on as being the basics of a fulfilling life, figured out early on that Captain Furihata had three kinds of smiles.  His first one was a rather normal smile, one that he used during practices, or when talking with friends.  Basically an everyday sort of smile, nothing special.  His second smile was one used during games, when something particularly challenging popped up and he was working on a way around it.  Kagami had to admit, their new Captain was devastating and being able to control the flow of the game was something that aided them in tight situations.  That smile was sharp, determined, and helped keep morale in Seirin high.  Then there was the third smile.

The smile that said “Kagami Taiga I am going to kick your ass so hard, you piece of shit.”

While Furihata may have not worded it like that, Kagami has been on the receiving end of it many, many times.  The first couple of times he brushed it off because Furihata was _scrawny_ next to Kagami, completely average, and he doubted there was much the shorter male could do to him. 

He had been so wrong, because the fifth time he saw that smile he had endured—

Kagami was getting chills remembering that.

“This doesn’t help me figure out how to solve that money hole,” he grumbled, looking at potential job openings he could take part time that wouldn’t clash too much with his schedule.  However, because the world hated Kagami Taiga, they did and he groaned.

“Your family’s rich,” he remembered Kuroko telling him, “so why not ask them?”

Because there were certain things Kagami asked for and this was embarrassing and—

Pride, it was all pride.

Also budgeting.

Pride and budgeting—Kagami knows what he’s going to put on his grave when Furihata finally caves to all homicidal urges towards Kagami that the red head _fiercely believes_ his captain is hiding.  Pride and budgeting is what got him killed, alongside his appetite.  The days he wished he had Kuroko’s barely there stomach were growing large in number.

Kagami really didn’t want to do this, but since his time on earth was growing slim he had to think of something to raise the money up—fast.  That meant he would have to ask some of his friends if he could borrow some cash later on that he could earn through honest effort or something.  If they wouldn’t mind just handing it over and he’d pay them back later.  It was time to see who honestly liked him.  Kagami pulled out his phone, opening his contacts list, only to realize that most of his friends were on Seirin or were once on Seirin and would hold no sympathy.  None whatsoever.  That meant he would have to rely on the Generation of Miracles.

The banes of his existence (not really).

Kagami swallowed and chose the only one who wouldn’t be laughing too hard at his situation.

(*)

“A date.”

“Huh?”

“A date.  With Kurokocchi.”

“Are you desperate?”

“No, not at all, but you are.”

Kise looked way too smug, leaning back in his chair and giving Kagami this smirk that made his blood boil.  This was for Seirin, he had to remind himself.  This was for the good of the club (and his health) so he had to swallow it down and ask Kaijou’s Captain if there was any other way to get the money saved up on the side from his modeling gig.  “Really, isn’t there anything else?” Kagami asked.  “Besides, Kuroko’s going to say no.”  Kagami was also really surprised Kise agreed so easily into giving up money but then again he should have expected an ulterior motive.

It was almost like being a schemer was a requirement of being Captain.

“Not really,” Kise shrugged.  “Unless you want to be in debt to me for the rest of your life?  Ah, that doesn’t sound all that bad!  Kagamicchi could co—“

“Denied,” stamped and sealed and filed away to be looked at never again, because Kagami was not going to play personal maid to anyone.

“Then a date, with Kurokocchi, just ask,” Kise pressed.  Kagami felt his face contort in one of pain, brain warring on what to do.  On one hand Kuroko would hate him for a good couple of days (really, he’d just be highly annoyed) but on the other there was death—

“I’ll text him and ask.”

Kise almost blinded him with his smile.

Kagami typed out the text hastily, wanting to be as curt and to the point as possible.  He was met with a reply approximately thirty seconds after with Kuroko’s response.  Kise leaned forward a bit, excited about the potential reply.

“He says no,” Kagami said.  “Along with saying that he’s disappointed you would stoop this low as to using my pure maiden—hey, hey!”

“Ah, rejected again,” Kise sat down but his smile hadn’t faded at all.  “Guess I’ll have to try harder then.  Sorry, Kagamicchi, no money.”

Kagami wanted to cry.

(*)

“Kagami-kun, how could you?  Throwing me to the lions like that.”

“Why are _you_ acting like the one who was hurt?”

“You almost fed me to the dogs.”

“Please stop.”

“I thought you liked me better than that?”

“Those lines and your typical monotone don’t match. At all.”

“You still haven’t found a way to get the money have you?”

“Shut up.”

And then Kagami received a text from Kise saying he got him a modeling gig at one of the upcoming photo shoots.

His text back had some foul words mixed in with his acceptance and thanks.

“You do know you’re now indebted to him for life.”

“Kuroko, please.”

(*)

“Kagami!” Furihata looked pleased to see him when Kagami showed up to practice that afternoon looking a bit petulant.  “I was worried when you didn’t come to practice yesterday.  Are you alright?”  Kagami noted that smile number one was on Furihata’s face today, which was good.  That meant Kagami was in the clear and he wouldn’t have to worry about death.

“Uhm, Captain,” he looked anywhere but at Furihata, which just earned him a confused tilt of the head.

“Yes?”

“Please don’t kill me!” and with that he thrust out the cash he had earned from doing that photo shoot, head bowed and eyes closed.  There was silence and Kagami was afraid to look, afraid to see if smile number three was on Furihata’s face, and even the others had stopped their warm ups.  Although, Kagami could make out the soft laugh Kuroko tried to cover up.  After another minute passed he took the risk of peeking to see what Furihata’s face looked like.  It was, thankfully, not smile number three and it made Kagami relax some.  It was, however, pure confusion.

“What’s this?” Furihata asked, taking the envelope of money.

“To make up for that giant hole I ate in the budget,” Kagami was nervous still, though, and this feeling of dread was building up in the pit of his stomach.  “So, ya know…yeah, uhm…”

Furihata chuckled and Kagami felt even more embarrassed, “You didn’t have to do that!”

“What?”

“Kuroko didn’t tell you?  We figured out how to make up for it with the upcoming festival!”

“H-he didn’t.”

“Well, we’re going to do a host club sort of thing.  Suzuki suggested it.”

Suzuki was their new manager, if Kagami remembered correctly.  A second year and also who dealt with the budget a bit more directly than Furihata or Kuroko did.  Which meant those two were going to listen to her a bit more when it came to the club funds.

“A host club,” he looked a bit dazed.  “That means…”

“And to make up for the hole in the budget you’ll be one of the hosts!”

Roughly translated, that probably meant the only one of three, and the one in high demand.  Kagami was shaking, his mortification growing, and he wanted to go die somewhere.  Furihata continued, “I’m surprised Kuroko didn’t tell you.  I asked him to, since you’re in the same class.”  Kagami made a mental note to strangle his partner later.

“A-alright.”

“Glad that was cleared up then!  I’ll be taking this then.  Oh, unless you wanted to keep it since you went through all that hard work getting it?”

"No.  Take it."

It was just his dignity after all.

"Thanks a lot, Kagami.  That was very thoughtful of you." 

And Furihata walked off with the money Kagami embarrassed himself over getting.

No sympathy given for the amount of stress Kagami suffered.

Kagami mentally added a fourth smile to the ones Furihata already had.

 


End file.
